When I was in the trenches of running my previous business (our family insurance agency), there was a moment when I sat in my car outside the office and couldn’t bring myself to go inside. Not because of any single crisis, but because I knew another day of putting out fires was waiting for me.

It wasn’t just one emergency or deadline. It was the weight of walking into another day of managing crises, solving the same recurring problems, and falling further behind on everything that actually mattered for growing the business. What I had initially chalked up to normal leadership challenges had completely drained me.

That moment of resistance was my wake-up call. I wasn’t just mentally exhausted—I was trapped in a cycle that had turned me from a leader into a full-time firefighter.

The Crisis Cycle That Keeps You Stuck

When I first took over the agency, I didn’t have some grand vision of what I wanted the business to do for my life. My sole focus was survival: streamline processes, build a solid team, and get the business running smoothly. I told myself I’d worry about the bigger picture later, once we got through the immediate challenges.

But “later” never came.

Instead, I fell into what I now recognize as the reactive leadership trap. There was always something urgent demanding my attention, whether it was a client issue, an employee problem, or a protocol that needed fixing. I convinced myself that once I resolved whatever crisis was in front of me, then I could focus on strategy, business development, and the work that would actually move us forward.

The deadline kept moving. “Once we hire these two employees…” “Once we fix this client issue…” “Once we learn how to use this software properly…” The more I pushed back that arbitrary moment when I could work ON the business instead of IN it, the harder it became to even imagine what that would look like.

Meanwhile, I was losing myself in the process.

The Hidden Costs of Reactive Leadership

The most obvious cost was the mental exhaustion—that dread I felt every morning. But there were deeper damages I didn’t see coming.

I grew resentful of my team. Here I was, working nights and weekends, constantly solving problems, while they seemed oblivious to how much I was carrying. That resentment poisoned my leadership and drained what little energy I had left for anything resembling vision or growth.

I also lost touch with what I was actually good at. I’m someone who thrives on analyzing challenges and implementing solutions, but I had stayed stuck on the same recurring problems for so long that I forgot I could tackle anything else. The very skills that made me effective as a leader were rotting away while I managed the same crises over and over.

Most damaging of all, I had no “why” anymore. Without a clear vision for what I wanted to accomplish as a leader, every day felt like I was running on a hamster wheel—lots of movement, no progress.

What It Takes to Break Free

The turning point came when I finally talked to a coach.

Not because they gave me some magical solution or told me something I didn’t already know. But because they helped me see that my expectations around what HAD to get done before I could move forward were keeping me trapped.

I had convinced myself that I needed to solve every immediate problem before I could focus on strategic work. My coach helped me realize this was backwards. The strategic work (setting clear priorities, building better systems, developing my team) was exactly what would prevent these fires from starting in the first place.

Through our conversations, I finally articulated what I actually wanted as a leader: to serve as a resource for my team and spend the majority of my time learning about and developing new tools, systems, and ideas that would move the business forward. This vision gave me something to work toward instead of just away from.

Why You Can’t Do This Alone

The thing about reactive leadership is that it’s incredibly isolating. You’re so busy managing immediate problems that you don’t have time to step back and see the pattern you’re stuck in. You start to believe this is just what leadership looks like—constant firefighting with no end in sight.

Being in a leadership role is already a lonely place. When you add the weight of feeling like everything depends on you solving every problem and crisis, it becomes suffocating. You need someone outside the daily chaos to hold up a mirror and show you what’s really happening.

That’s exactly what coaching provided for me—not just tactical advice, but the perspective and accountability I needed to interrupt a cycle that was slowly destroying both my business and my well-being.

Your Turn to Break the Crisis Cycle

If you feel like you’re constantly putting out fires while the work you actually want to be doing gets pushed further and further away—know that you’re not alone. And more importantly, know that this cycle can be broken.

The sooner you interrupt this pattern, the greater chance you have of creating the leadership role and impact you actually want. The alternative is burning out entirely and losing sight of why you stepped into leadership in the first place.

You don’t have to figure this out alone. Sometimes all it takes is one conversation with the right person to help you see what you can’t see from inside the whirlwind.

Ready to break free from reactive leadership?

Book a complimentary discovery call with me to explore how 1:1 coaching can help you regain agency over your business and your role as a leader. Let’s talk about turning your expertise into the strategic, growth-focused work you’re meant to be doing.