Setting boundaries in a family business or with a close colleague can often feel overwhelming and helpless, especially if you avoid confrontation for the sake of “preserving your relationship.” When my mom and I were working together, it often felt like we spent more time trying to get on the same page than actually working towards our goals.

We spent years going back and forth about what each of us should or shouldn’t be doing before realizing that we had neglected to have a crucial conversation up front: what boundaries would look like for our working relationship. Here are 3 key elements to consider when setting boundaries in a family business:

Have trust and belief in one another’s abilities

The foundation of any successful partnership, especially with someone close to you, is trust. You likely already trust them on a personal level because they’ve already demonstrated that they have integrity and are reliable. However, it’s equally, if not more, important to trust in your partner’s competence and abilities – which is probably something you haven’t been witness to until now.

There will be mistakes and course-correcting in the beginning, but the ultimate question to ask yourself is whether or not you’re willing to endure short-term discomfort for long-term collaborative success. The alternative, of course, is temporary “peace” that leads to eventual burnout and resentment.

To build this level of trust, start by openly discussing each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Recognize and celebrate the unique skills and knowledge each of you brings to the table and have the courage to ask for and receive feedback from one another. These practices not only reinforce trust but also create a culture of transparency and accountability that pave the way to setting realistic boundaries in a family business.

Outline and respect one another’s realms of responsibility

One of the most crucial steps for setting boundaries in a family business is to delineate clear areas of responsibility. This involves agreeing on who is responsible for what and focusing on the results each of you is expected to achieve. Delineation of responsibilities helps prevent overlap and confusion, ensuring that both of you can work independently within their domains.

Start by identifying the key functions and activities within your business. Then, based on each of your strengths, interests, and goals, assign clear roles and responsibilities. It’s important to discuss and agree on the outcomes you each are responsible for achieving and also to make sure that each of you feel comfortable with the goals you’ve put in place.

Results take time, so in order to prevent anxiety and tension from taking over, be sure to establish regular check-ins to discuss progress towards goals and address any challenges that arise. These check-ins can help you both stay aligned on business objectives, adjust roles and responsibilities as needed, and ensure that you both feel informed and confident about how each of you is contributing to the business’ success.

Have the humility to acknowledge new ideas and “let go” of your old ways

In any partnership, disagreements on how to approach tasks and solve problems are inevitable. However, when working with someone you have a personal relationship with, these disagreements can be almost impossible to navigate because of your inherent assumptions about the other person. The key to handling these differences constructively and setting boundaries in a family business is to cultivate humility.

Humility in a family business involves recognizing that your way is not the only way—or necessarily the best way. It’s about being open to learning from your partner and considering their methods and ideas, even if they differ significantly from your own. This openness can lead to innovative solutions and improvements in how your business operates.

This will be challenging, especially if you’ve been successfully operating the business a certain way for years. However, the best way to embrace this mentality is to clarify what your ultimate goals are for yourself and for your family member/business partner. If you truly want them to thrive and for your business to grow, then you’d be doing both you and them a disservice to not be open to new ideas and methods. Once you’ve acknowledged this, it’s just a matter of staying curious and open-minded as you work together to build a new foundation for your business’ future.

Conclusion: Setting boundaries in a family business is an ongoing journey

Setting boundaries in a family business is essential for the health of both the relationship and the business. Trusting and believing in each other’s abilities allows each of you to work independently and effectively. Delineating clear areas of responsibility ensures that each of you knows what is expected of them and can focus on achieving results. Embracing humility to accept different methods can lead to innovative solutions and improvements.

Through open communication, mutual respect, and a commitment to the partnership’s success, you can navigate the complexities of working with someone close to you and take both your business and your relationship to new heights.

---

Not sure where to start?

If you’re struggling to set boundaries in a family business or with a close colleague and want some more guidance on how to have these crucial conversations, send me an email at [email protected] or click the link below to book a complimentary Discovery Call.